Five Things I Learned from my First Interviews on Perimenopause for Working Women

When I started talking openly about perimenopause, something unexpected happened. Women started talking back. Not cautiously. Not awkwardly. Immediately. One conversation became five. Five became ten. Ten became twenty. And before long I realized I wasn't collecting stories. I was uncovering patterns.

Here are the five biggest things I've learned so far.

1.      Everyone thought it was something else.

• Burnout

• Stress

• Depression

• Aging

• Lack of motivation

• Too much work

• Not enough vacation

Nobody I spoke with immediately thought: "Maybe this is perimenopause." Instead, women were treating individual symptoms while missing the larger picture.

2.      Brain fog is terrifying.

Interestingly, there isn’t any one system associated with perimenopause, but the one that came up most often was cognitive change.

Women described forgetting words. Losing thoughts mid-sentence. Walking into meetings feeling unprepared even when they knew the material cold.

For high performers whose careers have been built on sharp thinking, that experience can be deeply unsettling.

And it’s the one most often misdiagnosed as disengaged. Because when the women I talked to described how they felt when they forgot words, felt embarrassed in meetings when they lost their train of thought, they also retreated. They lost their confidence and spoke up less.

3.      Many women are suffering silently at work.

Not because they want to. Because they're afraid.

Afraid of looking weak. Afraid of being passed over. Afraid of reinforcing stereotypes. Afraid someone will conclude they've lost their edge.

So they do what women have always done. They push through.

4.      Nobody knows where to go for help.

Many women don't know where to start. Many doctors aren't trained in menopause care, let alone perimenopause care. Many employers don't talk about it. Many managers don't recognize it.

Everyone seems to agree this is happening but few seem prepared to address it.

5.      Something powerful happens on the other side.

This one surprised me.

Many women who had found the right support didn't simply return to normal. They emerged with a completely different perspective.

Some wanted bigger careers. Some wanted entirely different careers. Some left jobs that no longer fit. Others stepped into leadership roles they had previously avoided.

What looked from the outside like a breakdown often became a reassessment. And in many cases, a breakthrough.

The more conversations I have, the more convinced I become that this isn't just a health story. It's a leadership story. It's a workplace story.

And it's a story millions of women are navigating largely on their own.